Of the real passenger and dying in someone else’s movie.

It used to irritate the days out of me, those Kampala taxis that you’d find about to leave the stage, the ka guy is revving it like crazy, the tout is slapping on the top, like “Driver, Linda ko Linda ko, bulaza ogenda?!” (Driver, hang on for just one more passenger) You rush to catch it,  even jog ko, so they don’t leave you…You hop in, youre like whew! barely made it! Yes! Driver tugende! (Let’s go).. 20 minutes later, you’re still on the same antics. “Sister, sigadde omu… Twala ono!” (Just one more to go, here she comes)  Sometimes the ki taxi even reverses and takes you way back beyond where you even got on! Argh! Meanwhile it seems packed, like you’re waiting for just this one passenger but when the passenger finally boards, some ka guy gets up and out, you realise you got played! All the chaps sitting in the taxi were just filling up a space so you think its about to leave. You get up to leave, the conductor blocks the door like “tuula bulaza tugenda, katulinde ono yekka” 40 minutes later, still revving, back and forth, about to take off.. But now youre invested. You’re so impatient, but can’t leave because it’d be the same process all over again.. So you have resorted to hollering at potential passengers yourself just so you can get the heck out of there. See whenever you threaten to get up and leave, the taxi also threatens to leave the stage, its a a ka crafty game. Finally when you’re left with one passenger to go, you can tell because if you threaten to leave the  conductor is like “nebwogenda!” Any who, finally you get the proverbial last passenger then the ka guy at the wheel exits and the real driver strolls in! You roll your eyes, all this time… mfewww, etc but kasta you’re on the bus! They ate your dimes! I find its kinda like that in this era of advertising and consumerism. Every new product, business idea, new relationship,  network marketing gimic or new miracle maker is the hottest wowest thing since sliced bread… Until you buy in, then terms and conditions become terms and conditions! The happy people who were advertised start checking out and you find you’re the only real “passenger”. But you’re already invested, so… You start calling other “passengers” so this thing can take off. You even start giving them your own assurances just like the tout that duped you in first place. The more people we have the sooner we can all take off. It has now become your movie, and no one wants to die in their own movie.

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Wish

The flowers have grown

Since the rains came

And the dust been washed away

I looked around at this beautiful day

I wish you could see it too

 

There was a time when we

Felt alive, in the

Simple things of every day

Now we spend it every moment of it

Staring at our screens

Trying to be something that we’re not

 

Oh how I wish

For them simple days

When everything was everything

When what was

Was what it was

And our hearts still lived in our souls

How I wish that you’d return

 

We disappear through virtual doors

meet again in a world that we don’t know

And we wear masks and tell our lies

We hide our pain and our muffled cries

We haggle over the price of our souls

 

 

 

Thorn, bramble and nectar

My senses led me to you
Oh sweet smelling shy flower
With your promise
of life giving nectar
Wary of thorn,
I momentarily drew back
Was it wanton desire or ego?
Maybe curiosity, maybe Faith
In the fulfilment of promise
but your brambles
are merciless
vines thick enough to restrain
and yet not enough to let me up
I have my bruises and scrapes
wages for distrusting instinct
frustration, perplexion
for you still smell as sweet
and promise as much
but you still conceal
thorn and bramble
and I’m not any wiser
Standing here contemplating

Continuum

Have you ever heard a story so good

That you wish you never heard it

So that you could hear it for the first time

Again

 

Have you ever had a meal so delicious

You wish you were hungry

So you could eat it all again

 

Have you ever wished we never met

So we could meet again.

 

we have as much time as we had

Right at the beginning

Some of it is banked in our memory

And the rest is still in our imagination

I wish I could be stuck at once upon time

And yet live the happily ever after.

 

the joke isn’t that funny

When you hear it second time

The water doesn’t hold the same

When the cup has been cracked

 

I enjoyed dreaming

Of the destination

The dream was glorious

Almost to rival the Arrival itself

Oh that I could set off, and journey and arrive

All in the same moment

And that the moment would last forever

 

Oh that the feast would never end

The music would never die

That suspense and fulfillment would co exist

 

I dream of eternity

When this screen folds up

And abundant life begins

When we live

the beginning and the end

Rolled up in forever.

 

as the night unwinds
thoughts assail my brain
and possibiities shower my mind
a million chards of mental rain
logic disputes what the heart finds
attempts at resistance fall in vain
… youre trouble”

The bitter pill

Truth

that bitter vine

we all must drink

though we groan and whine

and dread what we think

yet still the secret of time

is that all deceptions shall sink

and fact shall unwind

its indelible ink

Unfailing love

Love..

Why are you still here?

They say youre blind

So what is it you see,

That keeps you hoping?

Why are you so immovable

Why is your hope so stubborn

And your skin so thick.

Love

Why are you so patient?

What are you waiting for?

How come you havent left

As the others have?

Why do hold, this crumbling Fort

Long after the call to surrender and retreat?

Love

Are you deaf?

To the discouragements

Are you blind to rejection?

Why do you hold out your shredded palms

Have you not learned?

love

Why are you so desperate

In the face of many options

That you still seek out the unworthy?

What are you made of

that dies a thousand deaths

and yet brings life

Love

How much can you take

I thought you were done

Seems like you only just began

How is it youre so stable

When everything else trembles

Love

How is it

Youre the last one standing

How is it you havent failed